February 21st, 2025
Examination rooms in hospitals are all pretty much the same. The room where the three of us sat looked just like the rooms at other ERs. Asher wanted to know what everything was. He pointed out a thing that looked like a balloon attached to a plastic tube. Karin explained to him that it was there to give a patient oxygen if they needed it. He asked about the boxes of blue latex gloves. Karin told him that the people working in the hospital wore the gloves sometimes. He pointed to one of the boxes and said,
“There is LX on the box.”
Karin told him, “That’s for ‘extra-large’ gloves. You read the letters as ‘XL’.”
Asher replied with the unshakeable confidence of a four-year-old, “No, it’s LX.”
Karin corrected him, “You are reading the letters backward.”
Asher insisted, “It’s LX.”
Karin glanced at me. I said, “Maybe he’s used to reading Hebrew.”
Karin gave me a weak smile and then grimaced from pain in her neck and left shoulder. We were at the urgent care facility because she was hurting. She had noticed the pain in the shoulder the day before, but she had tried to ignore it. She had taken an Advil and used some ice, but the pain got worse. It hurt when she moved her arm. It hurt when she turned her head. It hurt when she coughed. Finally, it just hurt too much, and suddenly we decided to take a ride to the hospital. Karin really did not want to go. Doctors and PAs have a habit of telling patients things they don’t want to hear. Karin was afraid of what she might hear.
The PA ordered some x-rays. She had asked Karin about the pain. The pain and numbness extended from her neck down to her left hand. The PA asked Karin if she had any idea what caused it. Karin had a clue about that. Two days prior she had been feverishly working to complete a sweater for Asher. The sweater had intricate patterns and required tight knitting. To do the work Karin had spent hours holding her shoulders stiff in order to get the handwork just right. She admitted to the PA that she might have overdone it.
The x-rays showed quite a bit of arthritis in and around the shoulder joint. There was inflammation. The trapezius muscle was tight as a snare drum.
The PA prescribed pain meds and a lidocaine patch for the shoulder. The PA also suggested a muscle relaxer, but the side effects sounded way too interesting. Karin is going to get a call in the near future about starting physical therapy to help with the pain and stiffness. The PA told Karin to pause frequently while knitting. She might as well have suggested that Karin take periodic breaks from breathing.
I have been reading “My Name is Asher Lev” from Chaim Potok. The book is about a young Hasidic Jew who cannot stop drawing. He is a gifted painter who struggles with his talent. The story eloquently describes the intensity and passion of an artist. For Asher Lev painting is not a hobby. It is his life.
Karin is a true artist. Her fiber arts are an integral part of her being. She has been knitting for probably sixty years. She also likes to crochet, weave, dye, and spin. Karin is almost constantly working with her hands. She is endlessly creative. She attempts new projects to challenge herself. She experiments with new techniques, new colors, new textures. Her art keeps her young in mind and spirit.
However, her body is getting older. This not the first time that her hands or arms have registered a complaint. She has to pace herself in order to do what she loves.
This is hard.
Frank is Emptiness 