Part of a Team

May 18th, 2025

I met with a friend, Danny, a few days ago. We worked together for decades, and now we are both retired. We had a couple beers and talked. As usual, we discussed how other former coworkers were doing. During the conversation, I found out that one of our colleagues is constantly busy helping his partner. The guy’s wife has diabetes, and her blood sugar level fluctuates, causing her to have difficulty concentrating on what she is doing. This means the woman can’t drive, which means that our old buddy from work has to be her chauffeur. Danny and I also have a friend whose wife has kidney failure. She requires dialysis treatment a couple times a week. I know another coworker whose wife had a stroke last year. This friend of mine is his spouse’s fulltime caregiver.

The fact that so many people our age are either ill or caring for somebody who is partially incapacitated makes me think. My wife, Karin, and I are both healthy…for now. Part of the aging process is that a person will eventually become ill and/or disabled. That’s guaranteed. It is likely that Karin or I will need to care fulltime for each other at some point. That doesn’t really bother me too much. What makes me think is the question of what happens to our grandson, Asher.

Karin and I care for Asher 24/7/365. The boy is four years old and will start kindergarten in the fall. Currently, he needs our help almost constantly. That will change as he gets older, but right now he depends on us. Watching over Asher is a job that requires two people. We have to work as a team. If something happens to Karin or to me, then what becomes of the little boy? I cannot be the caregiver for both my wife and our grandson. Karin cannot care fulltime for me and for Asher. Something will have to give.

Our youngest son has committed to caring for Asher if something happens to my wife or me. That eases my mind somewhat. I try not to worry about that future. The present moment is enough to keep me busy, sometimes more than enough. We can try to plan ahead, but I have to focus on today.

Today is all that there really is.