A Toothbrush

September 26th, 2019

We have a loved one in prison. She has been in Ellsworth for several months now. The girl that we love called Karin yesterday to ask that we buy her a new toothbrush. Apparently, this girl cannot get a decent toothbrush through the prison commissary system (no surprise there). I went online this morning to check with the authorized prison vendors, and found that I could not buy a toothbrush for this young woman. The vendors do not sell toothbrushes. Why not? I have no idea. Even if I knew the reason, it would make no difference. I would still be unable to get this girl a toothbrush.

It’s madness. All of it. Every step of the way.

I was listening to the girl in the car this morning. She wasn’t physically with me, but I could hear her.

Almost ten years ago, this young woman made me a CD of the songs that she loved. I listened to that CD in the car today. The last song on the recording is from the group Shinedown. The song is called “Her Name is Alice”, and I believe that it was used in the movie, “Alice in Wonderland”, the one with Johnny Depp.

This song is strange and trippy. It is also this woman’s song. It was her song ten years ago. It is her song now. You just have to listen between the lines.

The song is only three minutes long, but it is intense. It starts off quietly with a simple piano theme. Then a girl speaks these words:

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.

Nothing will be what it is, because everything will be what it isn’t.”

At that point, the song kicks into gear. A bell tolls. The drums roll, and there is a dark and sinister bass part. The singer has a raw voice that only gets more rougher as the song goes on. He says:

“I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time,

And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind.

And the girl that chased the rabbit, drank the wine, and took the pill,

Has locked herself in limbo to see how it really feels,

To stand outside your virtue,

No one can ever hurt you,

Or so they say…”

Then the screaming starts.

“HER NAME IS ALICE!

SHE CRAWLS THROUGH THE WINDOW

SHAPED IN SHADOW.

ALICE!”

Then more quietly,

“And even though she is dreaming, she knows.”

The song continues:

“Sometimes the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain,

And every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain.

And through the looking glass we see she’s thankfully returned,

But now ‘off with her head’ I fear is everyone’s concern.

You see there’s no real ending,

It’s only just beginning,

Come out and play…”

Then the screaming returns:

“HER NAME IS ALICE!

SHE CRAWLS THROUGH THE WINDOW

SHAPED IN SHADOW.

ALICE!”

Then the last verse…

“And even though she is dreaming

She’s a locked for meaning for you

This kingdom, good riddance

Her good freedom and innocence

Has brought this whole thing down!!!”

One last scream:

“HER NAME IS ALICE!

SHE CRAWLS THROUGH THE WINDOW

SHAPED IN SHADOW.

ALICE!”

Then the noise stops, and finally there is only the piano and the girl’s voice:

“In contrary wise, what it is it wouldn’t be,

And what it wouldn’t be, it would be.

You see?”

After almost a decade of emergency rooms, rehab clinics, mental institutions, jails, and prisons, I think I get it.

Yes, I see.

The song has a link.

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