September 23rd, 2026
Back in August, there was a 50-year reunion celebration for my high school class. I didn’t attend. For one thing, I did not know where to get a babysitter for our five-year-old grandson, Asher. I also had no idea what I would have in common with classmates that I hadn’t seen in half a century. I would have been wandering around in a room full of strangers. So, I stayed away.
Keith, an acquaintance of mine, did go to the reunion. Keith told me about a mutual friend of ours, Ron, who had passed away in the spring of 2025. Ron lived in the local area, and we had been close while were in school. I lost contact with him about 25 years ago, and we never got together again. Keith sent me the link to Ron’s obituary. I read it a couple times. I had forgotten about Ron, but now I am thinking of him and remembering.
As I mentioned, Ron and I were tight while we were in high school. Actually, I think we were friends long before that. After graduation, we parted ways. He went to Marquette University in Milwaukee. I went to West Point. He began a career in social services. I became an Army officer. We stayed in touch. I tried to meet up with him whenever I was in town, but that wasn’t very often. I left the Army and came back here after twelve years. A lot can happen in twelve years.
I did not come home in very good shape. I was angry, depressed, and disoriented in the civilian world. I drank way too much for too long. It would be a gross understatement to say that I was hard to get along with. I managed to maintain a friendship with Ron, and amazingly he stuck by me when I went into recovery. I clung to him like he was a life preserver. Eventually, he got tired of my craziness and neediness. He cut me off, and I don’t blame him for doing so. I was toxic. He had his own life to lead.
Ron got cancer shortly before we separated. The disease went into remission. I never heard from him after that. In 2023 I saw an obituary with his name on it. I contacted his wife. She assured me that Ron was alive and well. Apparently, there was another person in the Milwaukee area with the same name who died at that time. She briefly mentioned that his cancer had returned. That didn’t surprise me. I have had several friends who fought cancer, and cancer always won in the end, even if it took decades.
Now, Ron really is dead. I am glad that he is no longer suffering. I wish that I had been able to speak to him before he died. I would have thanked him for his compassion and patience, and I would have apologized for being a fucking asshole. Now it’s too late. He was a good friend and now he’s gone.
Ron was good man. He was fundamentally a decent person. In our times, that in and of itself is a remarkable thing. I am grateful to have known him.
