August 31st, 2026
Asher woke up a couple minutes after I did this morning. The five-year-old climbed over me on the bed to give me a hug. Then he asked,
“Do you love me?”
I told him, “I love you all the time.”
This isn’t the first time that Asher has asked that question. Lately, he has been asking more often about whether or not I love him. I guess it is a normal question to ask, but I sense an underlying uneasiness on Asher’s part. I don’t know that I can give Asher an answer that would really satisfy him. There is this hunger in his voice when asks me. He wants to know that I love him, but he also wants to know that I will be here for him.
Asher has had important people disappear from his life. Some of them are missing through no fault of their own. A few simply abandoned him. In any case, since he was an infant, Asher has experienced loss. He’s anxious that he might experience it again.
I would like to tell Asher that I will always be there for him, but he knows better than that. He knows that I am old, and that old people die. He has a remarkably mature view on that subject. The best way I can reassure him is to be here now. That does not require me to do anything extraordinary. All I have to do care for him; maybe read him stories, play with him, and listen to what he needs to say. Asher wants me to be present. In order to be present, I have to sacrifice some of things I would like to do, but he feels more stable and safe when we share time together. I demonstrate my love for Asher by spending my limited time with him. Time is of greater value than money.
Asher also asks me, “How much do you love me?” I never how to verbally answer that question. Words fail in this regard. I can’t tell him how much i love him. I can only show him.
Frank is Emptiness 