May 10th, 2026
My bedroom window overlooks the patio in the backyard. Near the patio my wife, Karin, has set up several bird feeders on tall hooks. We get sparrows, goldfinches, cardinals, and orange-winged blackbirds. Karin also put a feeder to attract hummingbirds. No luck there yet.
Asher has his own bed, but he has slept with me during the last few nights. Last night, he rested his head on my left bicep until he dozed off. I managed to pull my arm out from under his rather heavy noggin without waking him, and then I tried to get to sleep. There are always night sounds from outside. I have grown used to them, even the yelping of the coyotes on moonlit evenings. Usually, my mind wanders and I fade away.
Two nights ago, I didn’t fall asleep immediately because I heard a new ruckus outside of my window. It was this hideous, B-grade horror movie kind of sucking/slurping sound. I could not make out what it could be. Was it something wrong with the sump pump? Was it a water leak some place? Was it some nasty animal trying to scrounge bird seed? Animals don’t generally slurp bird seed, so that didn’t seem right. I also heard some sound like barking, but not quite.
I didn’t sleep for a while. I hoped that my ever-increasing short term memory loss would erase the record of this din. By morning I had forgotten the whole episode.
Last night, I heard the slurping again. I was very wound up. I peeked out of the curtains, and in the dim light I saw some furry, fat animal lumber across the patio. That wasn’t really comforting, but I had an idea of who was responsible for the noise.
This morning I walked outside and looked around the patio. Karin had hung the hummingbird feeder on a low hook. It was full of sugar water. To be more accurate, it had been full of sugar water but was now completely empty.
I’m guessing that a raccoon came to the feeder after sunset and wrapped its feral lips around the opening near the bottom. Then it sucked that thing dry over the course of two nights. The evil slurping sound was probably the raccoon getting a massive sugar buzz to start its night adventures.
Karin is getting a much taller hook tomorrow morning.
It should be quieter tomorrow evening.
Frank is Emptiness 