July 19th, 2026
“Grandpa, talk for the stuffies!”
Asher, our grandson, often demands that I speak for his stuffed animals. He has dozens of them, and he will suddenly toss several stuffies at me and then expect me to invent a conversation between them. I do all the voices. He has three unicorn stuffies that he likes to put into the mix. One is white in color and called “Snowflake”. One is pink and known as “Uni”. There is unicorn/llama hybrid that simply goes by “Unicorn Llama”. These three stuffies are the guardians of Unicorn Land, which is the exotic setting for most of these episodes. Asher likes to have other stuffies visit Unicorn Land and I have to include them in the narrative.
This morning’s chapter went like this:
A new character shows up. He is a small, intensely purple elephant named “Purple”. The unicorns welcome him.
Snowflake: “Hi, welcome to Unicorn Land!”
Purple: “Hi. I’m Purple. I live here too.”
Snowflake: “Really? Since when?”
Purple: “I was born here. I’m a unicorn elephant.”
Snowflake: “Oh. That’s odd.”
Purple: “Well, you have a unicorn llama here. Why not an elephant?”
Note: There is apparently birthright citizenship in Unicorn Land.
Snowflake: “Uh, yeah. So, what do you do here?”
Purple: “I’ve been using my unicorn magic to make some improvements.”
Snowflake: “Like what?”
Purple: “I changed the colors on the flowers. I love using different colors. Now, the roses are blue, and the daisies are orange, and the goldenrod blossoms are red.”
Snowflake: “You made the goldenrod red? It’s supposed to be bright yellow. That’s why it’s called goldenrod.”
Purple: “No problem! we can call it redrod, or scarletrod, or crimsonrod!”
Snowflake: “Wait, wait, wait. You can’t just change everything. The animals who come to visit Unicorn Land expect to find things beautiful, but familiar. We welcome guests here and we want them to relax and be happy.”
Purple: “But it’s boring for the guests if it all stays the same. Hey, and you guys have a rainbow waterfall! That’s not normal!”
Snowflake: “Uh yeah, that’s true, but we are magical here, and that is part of our vibe. We try to keep Unicorn Land magical, but not too weird. You know, a few rainbows here and there, and some sparkles and moonbeams scattered around the place.”
Purple: “But I like new colors for things, especially red.”
Uni: “We like new things too, but not too much of them. Change most of the daisies back to white and the orange daisies will stick out more. Visitors will notice the orange flowers better if they are surrounded by a lot of white ones.”
Purple: “Yeah, I guess so. Does the goldenrod have to be yellow?”
Unicorn Llama: “Yes.”
Uni: “You could just brighten up some of the colors that are already in Unicorn Land. That would be magical too.”
Purple: “Aww, I never get to have any fun.”
Snowflake: “How about this? We have a valley in Unicorn Land that we haven’t enchanted yet. It’s all a dull grey. What if you color the rocks to make it look like the Grand Canyon?”
Purple: “Yes! When can I start?”
Snowflake: “Now.”
Purple: “Off I go! It’s magic time!”
There is a short pause.
“Purple: “I’m back! How do you like it!”
Unicorn Llama: “Beautiful!”
Uni: “Nice!”
Snowflake: “You rock!”
Purple: “I didn’t get to use much red. Where can I got use some red color?”
Snowflake: “Ever hear of the planet Mars?”
Frank is Emptiness 