Down South

March 19th, 2018

Karin and I saw a shirt in a store window when we were wandering around Navasota, Texas. It was a woman’s t-shirt, almost long enough to be a dress. There was writing all over the front of the shirt. At the very top, it said: “In the South, we…”. Below that phase was a long list of things that people do in the South. There are as follows:

“We praise Jesus.”

Oh yeah. Churches litter the landscape in Dixie. Most of them are some kind of Evangelical denomination. The region has an intensely Calvinist vibe. Even the Catholic churches, rare though they are, seem to have incorporated this kind of single-minded, vocal devotion to Christ. There is nothing wrong with this, although I can see how the religious atmosphere would be disconcerting to non-Christians. I’m cool with praising the Lord, but I don’t expect other people to share my fervor.

“We own guns.”

That is God’s truth. It seems like damn near everybody owns a weapon, or several. I have heard people explain to me why they own guns. Their reasons tend to be unconvincing to me. The fact is that many of the folks just love guns. It’s not a logical thing. It is a visceral connection with firearms. It isn’t necessarily good or bad. It just is.

“We sweeten tea,”

Yes, absolutely. Especially in Texas.

“We wave at strangers.”

True. It’s a little weird, but it is kind of cool.

“We fly the flag.”

Definitely. The question here is which flag. The Stars and Stripes fly almost everywhere you look. However, you can also see the Stars and Bars quite often. The Confederate flag is all over the place, especially in the countryside. To be fair, I have seen the rebel flag up North too, but its home is down here.

“We fry chicken.”

Yes, and they do it quite well.

“We say, ‘Hi, y’all’.”

I love that.

“We drive trucks.”

So do those damn Yankees.

“We say ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’.”

I like that too.

“We respect our elders.”

Right on, bro.

“We wear pearls.”

Can’t relate to that one.

There was more written on the shirt, but this is all that I can remember for now.

Karin looked at the shirt and said, “I would sooooo wear that.” then she laughed.