Counting the Days

May 3rd, 2018

Seven days.

One week.

One week from today the girl we love will go before the judge for sentencing. Karin and I plan on being in the court room with her. Our presence most likely won’t change anything, but we will be there. According to a woman from the Department of Corrections, Karin and I will be able to make a statement at the sentencing, if we so desire. I have to think about that.

Both Karin and I spoke on the phone with the lady from the DOC. She was working on the pre-sentencing investigation, and she called us for our input. We tried to give the lady all the pertinent background on our young woman. The woman from the DOC listened carefully to what we had to say. She actually seemed to care. Her report will go to the judge, and he will use it as he sees fit.

I talked to a friend of mine, Mike, about the upcoming court appearance. He shrugged and told me,

“It’s just going to be a day full of suck.”

True. There is no way to spin it to make it look positive. It is unlikely that the judge will tell the girl, “Go and sin no more!”. That’s probably not going to happen. The question is what will he choose from a selection of bad options. What is the least shitty outcome to all of this? I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t. I have no advice for the judge, because I don’t know what we is the best solution for this situation.

The girl we love seems to be handling her anxiety well. At least, she seemed to be coping with it when we saw her at the jail on Monday evening. It’s got to be incredibly stressful for her. It’s stressful for me, and I’m not directly affected by the judge’s decision. Karin and I will be collateral damage. The court decision will radically change the life of our loved one. By extension, it will change our lives too. Our girl is not in this alone. Like it or not, we are all on this walk together.

Our loved one spoke to me about going to Florida someday. Years ago, we traveled as a family to the Gulf Coast near Destin. We went to a state park on the beach, where the sand was pure white and the water was warm and salty. Our girl doesn’t have many good memories, but that trip is one of them. She dreams of returning to that beach. I talked to Karin about the girl going back to Florida. When things settle down, whenever that happens, we will help the loved one make that trip.

If I would speak at the court appearance, I doubt that anything I say would influence the actions of the judge. All I would want to say is that Karin and I are with our loved one on her journey, no matter where it leads. I want the judge to know that. I want the loved one to know that.

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