Tag: growing-up

Tearing it all Down

April 18th, 2026

I tore down Asher’s baby crib a couple days ago. I had been avoiding that particular task for as long as I could. This piece of furniture is actually a combination crib/changing table. It has numerous parts, all of which are held together with hex nuts. I hate hex nuts. The little hex wrenches are always awkward to use and easy to misplace. It would have been okay if all
I needed was one wrench for all the nuts. But nooooooooo, I needed two wrenches and I usually tried to use the wrong one first. There was a lot of swearing going on, which somehow seemed inappropriate.

Asher’s crib has been in his bedroom for over five years. Asher has slept in it a total of one time, and that was for a brief daytime nap. Asher has almost always slept with Karin and/or me, mostly with me. So, the crib is essentially brand new. We are giving it away to a Methodist church in Racine, Wisconsin, not too far from where we live. We are also donating Asher’s stroller, highchair, and anything else that a five-year-old no longer needs. Since Asher came to our house from the NICU back in December of 2020, we have accumulated an enormous amount of stuff that needs a new home. The goal is to get this paraphernalia to people who need it more than we do, and at this point we don’t need any of it at all.

Getting rid of the crib opens a space in Asher’s room for his big boy bed. This bed used to belong to Asher’s uncle many years ago. It has two large drawers underneath that are on rollers for easy access. Asher is excited about having a big boy bed, as well he should be. Now, he can sleep alone if he wants. I expect that he will use his “new-to-him” bed most nights. Sometimes, he will probably find his way into my bedroom when he needs somebody to hold him. I am sure that Asher will get used to sleeping by himself, and then someday, maybe in fifteen years or so, he will once again want to sleep with someone else, albeit for very different reasons than he has now.

It seems natural, although perhaps sad, to tear down something in order to build something new. Things become obsolete and have to be discarded. These things might be physical objects, or they can be habits and routines. Asher has outgrown the crib. As his caregivers, we have to outgrow any attachment we have to his time as a baby or a toddler. Not everything goes away. Hell, we still have child safe electrical outlets from when Asher’s mama was a little girl. Life moves forward and we have to move along with it.

I had to tighten up the frame of Asher’s big boy bed. It’s held together with hex nuts.

No Training Wheels

April 4th, 2026

Asher needed a bicycle. Our five-year-old grandson had one already, but it was old and getting a bit too small for him. The old bike was a gift from the neighbors across the street. It had been their grandson’s bicycle. It was blue and orange with Hot Wheels decals on it. It also had training wheels. My wife complained that the training wheels were noisy and kept Asher from listening to her when they rode together around the neighborhood. It is possible that Asher simply did not want to listen to her, but the training wheels do in fact make a racket. In any case, the old bike was no longer suitable, so Karin searched the Internet for a replacement.

She found one. There is a bicycle manufacturer in Indiana that makes rides for kids. The bikes are high quality and pricey. The bikes even have hand brakes which is kind of unusual for kids that age. Karin sent Asher’s measurements to the company, and they suggested a 20″ small bike for Asher. Asher selected a bicycle with a pink frame and aqua blue tire rims. Karin ordered the bicycle and it was supposed to get delivered by FedEx three days ago. Asher was thrilled.

The bike did not show up three days ago. On the FedEx website it showed leaving Indiana four days ago, arriving in Chicago, and then leaving there just after midnight on Wednesday morning. We assumed it would get delivered around midday. By Wednesday evening, the website still showed the package as leaving Chicago with no further update. I worked at a trucking company for almost 28 years, so I got suspicious. We live near Milwaukee. Milwaukee is only ninety miles from Chicago. If the bike was still on the trailer, then that trailer probably was not going to Milwaukee. On Thursday morning, I saw that the bicycle was in Syracuse, New York. It had been misloaded in Chicago and took an unnecessary trip of several hundred miles.

Asher was not pleased. He spent all Thursday asking when bike would come. The website said it would get delivered on Friday. We didn’t trust that. We told Asher that it might come on Friday, but it was not for sure. He still was not happy.

Friday morning was rough. The anticipation was overwhelming. About every five minutes Asher asked me, “Did the doorbell ring?”

I would answer, “No”, and then I explained that the FedEx driver usually would not ring the doorbell at a delivery. Asher replied to me,

“Well, Oma (Karin) told me they ring the doorbell!”

Okay, well, then maybe they will.

Right after lunch time, the FedEx driver pulled up and manhandled the box to our front porch. I was waiting for him. He scanned the code on the box, took a picture of our door, and said, “It’s all yours.”

I rang the doorbell for him. Asher never heard it anyway.

I let Asher know the bike was here. Jubilation erupted in the house. I followed the simple instructions to assemble the bike. It wasn’t hard, and manufacturer included a set of tools to do the job. I could have had it put together more quickly if Asher hadn’t talked constantly and given me unsolicited advice on how to do the work. I got it done.

Asher put on a jacket, shoes, and helmet. I had the seat as far down as it would go. The bike has no training wheels. It’s a big boy bike. Asher got on it and I prepared to guide the bicycle until he could it balance and peddle it on his own.

We never moved. He sat on it and said, “Whoa…wait. I am too high on the bike. I can only reach the ground with my tiptoes. I’m scared. I don’t want to ride.”

This was disappointing. He got off of the bike, and I put into the garage out of the way. I told him,

“When you’re ready, the bike will be sitting here.”

I don’t know when Asher will get his courage up and go for a ride. There’s no rush. Maybe he will be ready by summertime. The bike will be waiting for him.